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169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
Everything in earthquake-prone areas should be built on top of a giant Tempurpedic mattress.
My wife said I can definitely have a man cave, if that`s what I want to start calling the hall closet.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
Unless your "Awesome Sauce" is an actual sauce and it involves putting it on a steak then I don`t want to hear about it.
Jogging backwards because I`m trying to gain a little weight
They should open a bar and call it "The Gym" so I can be like those annoying people on Facebook who brag about going to the gym every day.
Does the Lego movie come with a disclaimer "Some assembly required"?
My best stories always end with the words ... "and then I got the hell out of there."
The best part of winter coming is that all the bugs are rotting in hell where they belong.
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I`d never be bored again.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I was flattered.
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.
My dog is eating. I`m sitting next to her, staring intently at her, making her obviously uncomfortable. Yeah, how`s THAT feel, mutt?