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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
I don’t really forgive people I just pretend like it`s okay and wait for my opportunity to destroy them.
liked homework better when it was called coloring.
Pretty considerate of germs to count all the way to five before jumping on the food we drop.
I`m at my neighbor`s house having a delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home.
I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on facebook and then nobody likes your status. Depressing... :(
If you use the word "gay" to desrcribe something that is "merry or happy" then you`re gay.
The ultimate home security system is having crappy stuff.
When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer.
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
A cop comes up to a man on the street. Cop: Seen anything unusual? Man: A dolphin with a hat once. Cop: I mean around here. Man: No, they live in water.
One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I`m going to visit.
The people who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like