Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
"Ho, Ho, Ho!" -Santa Claus/Pimp, doing a head count.
Last night I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up in the morning, my pillow was gone...
To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
I can`t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
Sometimes it takes me 8 hours to get nothing done.
A computer losing its internet access is the equivalent of a car running out of gas, both become useless.
I hardly know you…. but, Facebook says it’s your birthday, so happy birthday!
A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else`s, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.
Girlfriend said she felt she looked fat, tired, and ugly. Said she needed a compliment. I told her that her eyesight was nearly flawless.
It`s hard to take life serious once you realize people jamming their genitals in each others mouths is considered a sign of affection.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant. Agree or nah??
Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.
No, I CAN’T believe how early it’s getting dark. After 4 billion years of this happening I was sure this would be the year it didn’t.