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I try to avoid nice people, so they can stay that way.
Business Plan: 1. Hold sign that says "Free Hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
My life is like Monopoly: sometimes I`m the race car, sometimes I`m the iron. But usually I`m a peanut because I`ve lost all the game pieces.
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
I regret nothing but mostly because I can`t remember most of the stuff I should probably regret
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.
My dog is a typical guy, I talk to him and he’s all wagging his tail, but I know he’s not listening. I get it ladies.
Today, I`m really gonna give it my nothing
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
After midnight, clowns aren`t funny.
You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves.
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out