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Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
I`m pretty sure whoever coined the phrase " rise and shine", doesn`t do it anymore.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
Marriage is for quitters
I always read my girlfriendβs horoscope to see what kind of day Iβm going to have.
Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger`s property and make a non-negotiable demand.
I use profanity, the way Picasso used a paint brush
Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run, but I did break a sweat.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
I have the ability to drive people crazy. I`m not sure if I was born with it or if I learned it. But damn am I great at it.
DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people.
I think Labor Day is to remind people that after a full day with the family, going to work actually isn`t so bad after all.