Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
I`ve set my "life goals" to stuff I`ve already done so literally every day now I`m overachieving. It`s all about perspective.
It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
They’re called scents, not flavors, I should not able to taste your perfume or cologne.
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you`ll be all good.
Nice try butter flavored pancake syrup, but I`m still putting butter on them!!
I’m considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
Instead of the John, I call my bathroom the Jim...that way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim every morning.
It`s been scientifically proven that originally there were only five fruit cakes ever made!
Next time you see someone you don`t like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
they say winning doesnt matter then why they had kept scores
Girlfriend: You`re acting like a little kid. Me: What do mean, little kids can`t drink.
The wife almost caught me browsing on Facebook, but I quickly clicked over to a porn site. That was close.