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My wife just said we should have another baby. I hope she didn`t mean together.
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
I wonder what my dog has named me?
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
Just once I wanna see a pregnancy test commercial where the female is like, "Aww, f**k..."
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
Just knowing that I have successfully pissed you off again makes my day.
Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color 8.
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
Why isn`t Wendy`s girl fat? You would think that someone who eats so many Baconators, chicken sandwiches and other burgers, would be quite the porker by now.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody`s there to appreciate it.
If Guys Wrote Valentine’s Cards: “I don’t even need beer to think you’re attractive.”
I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it`s Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.