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If my calculations are correct then someone else did them for me.
Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they`re not passing you some fake sh!t.
So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.
On a math test: 2+2 = ? Me: *Use calculator just in case
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
Is everything expensive or am I just poor?
NO, I didn`t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
I`m just chilling tonight with my new plane ... Oops, I`ve said too much.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult. So yeah...kids are stupid.
The only difference between sex and breakfast is sometimes I don`t want breakfast.
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
I`d like to read an obituary that says "He laid down the boogie and played that funky music till he died."
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Who can really hear themselves thinking?
Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style........ Now explaining typewriter.