Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
If someone says you used too much butter or cheese on something, stop talking to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today.
Crap, my Internet has been down for 4 days ...Probably because my neighbors moved 4 days ago.
Hockey is much better if you imagine the teams are fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.
Why does whoop-ass only come in a can?
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
The word "Saturday" has "turd" in it. Good luck trying to ignore that for the rest of your life, starting now.
I imagine some people are like...: `should I take the shower?...no...I`m taking the train today...`
It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I`m trying to do that & you`re lowering my chances.
It’s not pretty being easy.