Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wanna know what it`s like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.
If you see me talking to myself don`t be alarmed. I`m getting expert advice.
People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
I`d try Taco Bell`s breakfast but I don`t start drinking that early.
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
If I haven`t offended you, just scroll thru my timeline. It`s in there.
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good.
I found a real money maker in selling homing pigeons....... So far this month I sold mine 4 times.
As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost.
Merry Christmas week! The time when it’s totally fine to put Peppermint Schnapps in your coffee every morning!
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them