Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m single by choice. Not my choice, but still a choice!
Pornography only gets called by its full name when it`s in trouble too.
I end a lot of my sentences with "just saying`, because saying, "you idiot" is considered offensive.
I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbor mowing the lawn. I figure he`ll just have to mow around me. I`m not moving.
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
I love long walks on the beach under the moonlight, poetry, candlelight dinners, and having my a$$ spanked with a fuzzy slipper.
Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of "going to the gym in 2013."
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
my boss told me to start the presentation with a joke,so I showed my payslip.
As I was signing into my email account instead of yahoo.com I typed hayoo.com...nope, it wasn`t right but I got to thinking it would be quite appropriate, afterall, we`re trying to get someone`s attention, right?
Do you think we like to sing in the shower because we all love a good soap opera?
I don`t get why girls get so offended by sexist jokes..I think they are just ovary-acting. Seriously..
When my girlfriend texted me "I`m enjoying 5 guys in bed" I was quite surprised to arrive and find no hamburgers
Afraid my muffin top is desiring to become a pound cake.