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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

What happens in Vegas never happens to me.
My hatred for Nicki Minaj probably stems from my fear of clowns.
If things always went according to a plan…. life wouldn’t be interesting.
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", has obviously never been to a nude beach
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
Nothing says "I`m unemployed" like wishing for snow on Facebook.
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat…It’s watching what other people eat.
"It gotten SOOO cold in D.C., politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!"
I will resolve to spend less time on Facebook..............ok, got that one out of the way.....................
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
It`s not my official job but basically all I do is piss people off.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don’t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?