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Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
The only time I want to hear about your baby is when you tell me it ain`t mine.
Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
People treat New Year’s like some sort of life changing event. If your life sucks today, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich?
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day.
There`s nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it`s only lettuce :(
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
"Shit ton" is my favorite unit of measurement.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I`m interested...