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Putting vodka in my juice, because it`s Russia somewhere.
Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
I don`t have issues... I AM an issue
Home is where you can say anything you want, because nobody listens to you anyway.
I hate those new parents who do the `baby talking`, yes I do, yes I do...
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
4 out of 5 dead husbands agree that last casserole tasted really strange.
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she’s never around when I’m awake.
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
Learning to "stop drop and roll" in elementary school lead me to believe catching on fire would be a much more frequent problem in life.
Can I get likes for no reason?
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.