Daily Silly Status

You can stop lifting weights now; it’s actually your personality that nobody likes.

cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades

I don`t get offered drugs nearly as often as D.A.R.E. said I would.

in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)

Friends are like orgasms... nobody wants the fake ones.

I don`t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.

Teens are always full of energy until someone says the words "clean up".

If I am home alone, there`s a 99% chance I`m naked.

"I`m not drunk" - Biggest Friday Night Lie.

I don’t care if we don’t talk, your existence still pisses me off.

I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it though.

More funny statuses will be posted here soon

I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.

Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.

Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?