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If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
I`m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.
I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
All I`m saying is, I`ve never seen my ex and Satan in the same room together.
Lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers.
Irish Handcuffs: Holding a beer in each hand.
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer.
Holidays, hotels and women. Three things that always look better online than in real life.
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
If I share my food with you, it’s either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don’t want it.
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
When you introduce clapping to your dancing you might probably be too old to be in a night club at 1am.