Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate...
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
Once again, I`m a distant runner-up for TIME magazine`s `Person Of The Year`. I`m beginning to think it`s rigged...
A guy outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I told him, I feel like it would take longer than that
What happened to all the Sour Patch parents?
Pretty much the only time I want to hear about your ex is if she`s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I`m good.
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
Never underestimate a woman`s ability to make you feel responsible and guilty for her mistakes.
You might call it lazy ... I call it selective participation.
Sex, drugs and candy crush all have one thing in common. It`s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
You seem awesome. I can`t wait to find out what I hate about you.