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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
Don`t half a$$ anything. F*ck it up all the way.
Saw some idiot put a water bottle where the Pringles go on the treadmill.
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
I love long walks on the beach under the moonlight, poetry, candlelight dinners, and having my a$$ spanked with a fuzzy slipper.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it`s Buddha.
Karmaβs only a bitch if you are.
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
U make me wish I had more middle fingers
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the b!tch they claim I am.
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer itβs βartβ and βmusicβ... but when I do it, Iβm βwastedβ and βhave to leave Home Depot"