Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing is as scary as logging into Facebook and seeing someone you were secretly with last night has uploaded a new album.
That awkward moment when You accidentally hit the LIKE button During Facebook stalking.
People who are about to tell you something then say "never mind" are the reason why I sometimes admire serial killers
Whenever I lock a car up I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know that I mean business.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring ... so I go back to being me. ;)
I`d feel totally comfortable dating a zombie because I`d know she loved me for my brains and not just my body.
I`m not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me "2mer is B-9, woot!"
I never said "you were stupid" I said "you are stupid", there`s nothing past tense about it!
How does one get suspended with full pay and benefits? Asking for a friend who is actually me.
Just once I would like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
“Latte” is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
On the 14th of December I`m going to call people and say "7 Days" then hang up...