Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish I had a friend like me
in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
I wanna be skinny but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
According to the law it`s not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
How do you know if your girlfriend is getting fat?...She fits into your wife`s clothes.
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
I`m concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn`t tell everyone on FB how much I love them.
Always remember, it`s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
I always clench up before I drive into a tunnel because I`m afraid Wile E. Coyote might have just drawn it on there.
I`m going to start a band called "Free Beer" because when people see a sign that says "Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM" everyone is going to be there.
Champagne says I`m classy. Vodka says I can do anything I want. My therapist says I have to stop talking to my drinks.
Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle.