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What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
Pepper spray: The perfect way to end an annoyingly long conversation.
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she pours gasoline around your car.
I simply haven’t seen enough solid evidence that suggests not drinking is better than drinking.
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
I`m optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket.
I wonder how many couples would still be together if they traded phones for a weekend
Sorry I`m late, I didnt want to come
Being sick is your bodies way of saying “Hey, you really need to catch up on some TV”.
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.
If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got "YOLO" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they`ll dig the wrong way. It`s called thinking ahead guys.
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.