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I like to imagine that braille on random public signs often says: “How did you know this was here?”
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
Unless its inappropriately, don`t f*cking touch me.
I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them...
People must stop questioning my sanity, it wont answer them.
The saddest thing about St. Patrick`s Day is taking down all my Christmas decorations.
I used to play sports. Then realized you can buy trophies. Now I´m good at everything.
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
Turns out, I`m not an afternoon person either...
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
I`m going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.