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When they say: "Wow, you`re really photogenic." What they mean: "Wow, this looks nothing like how ugly you actually are."
Just remember the only thing standing between you and your dreams is your talent
Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
A poem about me: I hate mornings. I wish I was drunk. The End.
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
Chapstick is an entire industry based on you losing the product and buying more.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chap stick.
I SOOOOO wanted Kim and Kayne to name their daughter Wild Wild...
My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
Every time I go into my boss` office she tells me "take a seat". I have 14 now.
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired.
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.
Multitasking (verb) - Screwing up several things at once.