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Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
The discharge paperwork at the hospital seems to be expedited a little quicker if you roam up and down the hall with the back of your hospital gown untied.
There are 2 types of people that annoy me: Drunk people, when I`m sober. Sober people, when I`m drunk.
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds have gone South for the Winter.
Bitch Iβm not insulting you, Iβm describing you.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
Donβt ask me againβ is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
I hope my last words arenβt βWhat does this thing do?β
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
People who go rock climbing: you know you don`t have to, right
I can`t believe that it`s the year 2012, and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
I was born at a very early age.
People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I`m not expecting them to be practical
I want my children to have all the things I never had so then I can move in with them.