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I find you`re total lack of ambition is inspiring.
One good thing about being ugly is that when someone stares at you for too long you automatically know they wanna rob you.
If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
If my "friends" post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
No officer, my speech isn`t slurred. I`m just talking in cursive.
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the age I am now.
Pretending to be a morning person is exhausting.
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
Due to Global Warming Santa will be giving out Solar Panels to all the naughty kids this year!
Sorry I missed your call. I took too long to answer because I was dancing to the ringtone.
When I hear someone say they hear voices in their head, I wonder if they’re just thinking for the first time.
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.