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Jack Frost go away, come again another day. I need some sun, I need some sand, I need an island & a band. I`m bored with you & tired of the cold, so go away your getting old. Bring on the sun at one hundred degrees, some coconut oil & pina coladas please
The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.
Mall kiosk employees are basically human pop up ads.
Its amazing how many people respond to "Hey Dumba$$!"
? Taken ? Single ? So sexy that they’re all scared to go out with me.
Hey, guy from the gym with lifting gloves still on, you can take them off now, you`re in Starbucks.
Why do people say "Tuna Fish sandwich?" That`s like saying "Chicken Bird sandwich."
I just keep telling myself you guys don`t have sex either.
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
The last time I was someone`s type, I was donating blood.
After reading some marriage post, I`m beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.