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All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll do it.
Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
Sometimes I just wish people were as easy to forget as PIN numbers.
I never give money to bums because a.) They probably make more money than I do. b.) They work from home. c.) They get to drink on the job.
Anyone want to be fake engaged for two hours so we can eat cake samples?
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
You know there was a time in my life where I just didn`t give a f#ck.....funny how it seems that much hasn`t changed from an hour ago!!
I wish people`s voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
If you`re feeling bored, find a group photo of four girls on instagram and then comment "you three look great!" Wait and grab popcorn.
I’m glad I’m me, I don’t think anybody else could take it.
These ‘energy saving` light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.