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I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn`t have.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don`t make the rules.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
Euphoria....the feeling you get when you finally beat "that" level on Candy Crush.
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
I hate it when I`m trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera.
Today I recently discovered how to make my p@nis 12"...I just fold that b!tch in half.
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
I`m motivated by a need to leave something meaningful in the world & a profound desire to shove it in the face of anyone who`s rejected me.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often
Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid people
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.