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Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
Jehovah`s witnesses don`t celebrate Halloween. I guess they don`t appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
I try to avoid nice people, so they can stay that way.
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
I have an awesome idea, but first I`ll need a zebra, bungee cords, jello, and a partner in crime. Any takers?
He is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
I’m not a biologist but I’m pretty sure the difference between a moth and a butterfly is that a moth is really ugly.
I`d be super embarrassed if people saw my google history but only because its all words I should really know how to spell by now
I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.
Judging by the amount of times I accidently cut myself on sharp objects it`s probably just as well real lightsabers aren`t available yet.
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes
If Facebook isn’t a drug then someone please explain to me why I sneak into the bathroom at work to use it.
Its almost that time again! That`s right, its holiday season! Merry Black Friday sales, and happy spending!
Let It Snow is my favorite song about people who don`t understand how weather works.