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My girlfriend and I have an open relationship and will continue to do so right up until she finds out.
This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she’s not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!
The amount of times I`ve had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
Been waiting at the pub for my wife to pick me up for hours now. How long does it take to have a baby, for Christs sake.
I will write something profound ... subsoil!
Some people have a natural talent for stupid. Others take that talent and actually ENHANCE it!
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
Of course I plan to seize the day ... Eventually.
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
My resume is basically just a list of things I hate to do.
Admit it, you have that one voice that you only use on animals and babies.
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
If being an a$$hole was a professional sport, my face would be on a box of wheaties.
If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic
My New Years Eve = Hangover 4