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Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
My girlfriend just threw away a bubble wrap without popping it. Just like that. I`m dating an animal :(
My mom wanted to talk to me about my maturity today, but she didn`t know the password to my secret fort.
Such a satisfying feeling when “the one that got away” turns into “dodged that bullet”
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
Wait till the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald`s find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.
"But why?" - Me at weddings
I’ll need a weekend to recover from this weekend.
I`m 0-9 on finding secret rooms behind bookcases.
I can tell by your boobs that you`ve never seen a bar tab.
If you could see what goes on inside my head, you would have nightmares for weeks!
Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is to wake up the world.
Ohio - High in the middle, and round at the ends.
Lets just skip the fight and go right to the make-up sex.
I keep seeing all these commercial on TV about working out and getting "ripped" in 90 days.. Give me a bottle of Jack Daniels and I`ll get ripped in 15 minutes