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When I said make yourself at home, I meant go wash my dishes.
feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
Checking the time on your phone twice because you were`nt paying attention the first time
I put a dollar in one of those change machines once. Nothing changed.
Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of "going to the gym in 2013."
I think the only way I`ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I`m in prison.
Who`s further now, the Energizer Bunny or Voyager 1?
I`m not drunk ... But I`m working on it.
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re stupid and make bad decisions.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.
I think I may be getting harder to love.
If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, "Please. Not during Toyotathon."
What kind of downward spiral would cause a person to "like" cream cheese on Facebook?