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It`s real cute how pedestrians confuse "right of way" with immortality.
Attention!! Today I am traveling back in time to right some wrongs in this world. You will know I succeeded if the Germans lost WW2 and that Thursday comes before Wednesday.
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it`s wide use three fingers, make sure it`s wet and rub up and down. Yep that`s how you wash a cup.
The "best part of waking up" doesn`t even make sense.
Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
I only use elevators for one thing. Surprise group hugs
More people would drink responsibly if there was a brand of beer named Responsibly.
If you could see what goes on inside my head, you would have nightmares for weeks!
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
"in other news… it turns out being mayor of Toronto is all that its cracked up to be" - George T. Ignace
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.