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I’m beginning to believe that successful relationships come down to Netflix compatibility.
Got into a vicious battle with quite possibly the World`s Largest Spider. The outcome? Well, I`m updating my Facebook status this morning.... He isn`t.
For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I`ll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
Can`t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11
I`m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.
I’ve decided to get rid of my bad habits…just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
Monday :`( Tuesday :-( Wednesday :- Thursday :-/ Friday :-| Saturday :-) Sunday B-)
I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing she`ll do today is buy bedroom curtains.
My Kid: Can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What`s wrong with the one we live in? My Kid: WHAT?! Me: Goodnight, son.
Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear.