Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ll act my age when I`m 69..
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog.
Ugh, I have an ingrown hair and it really hurts. This sounds like a job for medical marijuana.
I try to find the good in every situation. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
Relationship status: running out of films on Netflix.
Just saw a guy driving while eating ice cream. F*cking sundae drivers.
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
Kids today will never know the frustration of having to rewind their dads porn tapes to the exact same spot...
I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice.
Never argue with someone who knows fancier words than you. Like `responsibility`
You can only push me so far before I breakdance.
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. I hope they let me back in Walmart.