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There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way.” has a zero percent success rate.
I`m not saying I hate you, but I`d unplug your life support to charge my phone.
If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
Legally, it`s questionable .. Morally, it`s disgusting .. Personally, I love it. ;)
eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
Whenever I tell the cashier to ‘keep the change`, it takes everything in my power not to call them a filthy animal.
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
I like to go to the bathroom with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
You don`t know true competition until you`re one of the last two people in musical chairs.
I`ve never heard an alarm going off on a car worth stealing.
Sex, drugs and candy crush all have one thing in common. It`s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.