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There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
What this country needs is more unemployed politicians...
I need to re-home a dog. It’s a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If your interested, let me know and I’ll jump over my neighbors fence and get it for you.
I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight like hell when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
I wouldn`t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
Pork is awesome, but it`s best when used as a verb.
My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
If there is anything I learned from 80`s movies it`s that I`m the best around, and nothing is ever gonna keep me down
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
The bouncer from my local nightclub calls me Macauley Culkin because I always go home alone.
I want the drugs of the first guy who was like "DUDE, let`s carve a face into a pumpkin."