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You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
The black sheep always have the best stories.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until an intoxicated idiot runs face first into a sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just "Morning," don`t be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ "Noon." Seriously, what did ya expect?
My pants are 75% off.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
Did you know? If you were to watch all of the Saw films, it would take you 666 minutes?
So I turned my phone onto " airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever!
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
I am really getting tired of every time I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.
I`ve never heard an alarm going off on a car worth stealing.
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative
Releasing a long silent fart as I walk through first class on the way to my economy seat is definitely my favorite part of boarding an aircraft.