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On the outside, I`m smiling...because on the inside, I`m imagining beating you senseless with Hulk Smash Hands.
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
Do you suppose prison guards could use `PROACTIV` to prevent outbreaks?
can say whatever the hell I want as my Facebook Status, and nobody will be offended as long as I smile at the end. Example: I hate everybody today :) - LOL
I wouldn`t want lesbian parents. Not because I`m homophobic. I just don`t want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them...
My wife says I talk while I sleep. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces.
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
Living with a child is like using a blender with no lid...
Judging by the commercials, only old white guys with sailboats can suffer from erectile dysfunction.
If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!