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Marco Polo must really hate sitting near a swimming pool.
"I have almost $67 in the bank!" sounded a lot more impressive when I was 12.
facebook cuz am too old to have imaginery friends
In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home,,, The more homeless I look.
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
I would exercise, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
Only awesome people are allowed to ‘LIKE’ this status!
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
I want my children to have all the things I never had so then I can move in with them.
Pink camouflage: I`m like, where you hiding? Candyland?
My mum`s so old fashioned she thinks LOL = Lots of love. She sent me an SMS saying just to let you know you`re Pa`s in hospital LOL.