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I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance…the five stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning
If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.
honestly I`ve never seen a tombstone that read "died from not forwarding a text to 10 people"
I`m not lazy I just really enjoy doing nothing!!
Orange Hi-C counts as a serving of fruit, right?
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day............ Palm Sunday is just around the corner
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
The older I get the more use I have for the phrase "bite me."
Gift cards are still the best way to say "I`m too lazy to think of a good gift and I think you`ll buy drugs if I give you cash."
If someone says they`ll always be there for you...make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"