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Vodka is just amazing water.
Relax,,, We`re all crazy.. It`s not a competition.
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
Ladies, life is short. So buy the shoes!
pudding... thats always a funny word
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation.
I recently jumped on the back of my psychologist and started counting...1...2...3 and he was so suprised asking me what I was doing and I answered offendedly: "Well you`re the one who said I could always count on you !"
I`m bored, I think I`ll ask my boyfriend if I look fat. - women
Why do ballerinas always stand in their toes? Why don`t they get taller dancers?
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
Guys be like, "Lets play 21 question." Girl: Ok, what`s your favorite color? Boy: Triangle, so you a virgin?
“Make it rain” is the only appropriate response when asked if you want freshly grated parmesan.
Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.