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Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
Do women know that it`s perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?
Talking to you makes me invent new swear words.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
My body keeps doing these muscle twitches like it wants me to get off this couch and move around. HAHAHAHA. As if.
Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers? I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those ... Wait ... Two. I have 2 kids.
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.
I just changed my WiFi password to "blowmefirst." I can`t wait for someone to ask me for it!
Why does using a straw make it so much harder to admit there’s no more soda?