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Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you
I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
You can`t choose your family but you can choose a hitman.
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
Karma is like a rubber-band: it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face.
Just when you think you have the answer a woman will be there to change the question.
I think ugly people have children just to prove to everyone they had sex.
I know you`re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
Remember, condoms prevent minivans.
You will always be my best friend ... You know too much.
Porn & love songs. Destroying reality forever.
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why
The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills.