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"we can still be friend" .. is like saying "The dog died, but we can still keep him"
Don`t exercise ... fat people are harder to kidnap
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
The sole purpose of a child`s middle name, is so he can tell when he`s really in trouble.
Guess what I saw today? ... Everything I looked at.
I wonder what I did in a previous life to get reincarnated as me...
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
I should come with a warning label.
Real friends show me their boobs
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, for 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers…Cheers!
I am really getting tired of every time I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.
Shouldn`t old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?