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"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
Hump Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Work like you don`t have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
The condoms need to be located in the baby aisle, next to the 30 dollar diapers and 20 dollar formula cans
When will vegeterians stop eating my food`s food??
Never make decisions when you are angry....or horny.
When one door closes and another one opens, it`s time to pack up and leave because your house is clearly haunted.
Why am I always right but people still ignore me...?
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
HR have advised that I’m not allowed to ask my chubby co-workers if they ate my missing stapler.
The greatest fear is NOT fear itself. It’s dropping your phone in a port-a-potty!
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!