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Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
You can`t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that`s kind of the same thing.
Apparently when my math teacher asked `what comes after 69` "I DO" was not the correct answer.
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
JOKE OF THE YEAR: Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.
Dear parents of college students on Spring Break, Congrats! Many of you are about to be grandparents!
Subway is the only place I can walk in and ask for a 12 inch Italian and not feel like a slut.
WOW! This gym thing is a lot harder than it looked on Instagram.
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
When things get to stressful I hit the jim.......... Beam.
I hate when people say, "I gotta get my body right for the summer." ...like, wtf are you going to do about your face???
ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: "Why am I talking to myself?"
Just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellant. Now, he’ll never have any friends.