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So many rules; so little time to break them.
The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
Sorry I pissed you off, but I find you much more entertaining this way.
I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
I have the rest of my life to be an adult.
Feeding my kid cold pizza. They will be off to college soon and preparation is the key to success.
If you spotted a white guy with headphones throwing gang signs on the subway today, that was just me listening to the soundtrack of Frozen.
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
lifes like a box of chocolates, never know whatcha gonna get (:
Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
The internet has made me so ADD. Started off googling "how to replace a timing belt" ended up watching a video on how to milk a camel.
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow.
When we married, she treated me like a God. As time went by, the letters got reversed
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D
I liked Hoarders much better when it was called Sanford & Son.