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The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you.
Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
Boys are like roses, watch out for the pr!cks...
Have you noticed that it`s only the married squirrels that hurl themselves in front of your car......
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
When I say lol, I don`t literally mean I laughed out loud. What I actually mean is that I made a loud outward breath through my nose, similar to a bull.
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
My package finally came today. this is awesome....it means I have bubble wrap to play with
I tried counting sheep to get to sleep, but one was missing and now Iām gonna be up all night worrying.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed and it was....GREAT!
I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says "Text Me"
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor`s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..