Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes actually. Okay, all grapes. Fermented grapes. Ok, I’m having wine for dinner.
Of all the things I have lost in life I mis my mind the most
We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
You know you`re up really late at night when you turn on ESPN and 2 white guys are boxing!
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
That weird moment when u just say "what`s up " to someone and they thing you`re a shrink.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
If by self-help you mean helping myself to all the liquor in your cabinet... Then yeah... I`m about as self-helpful as they come.
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
I puked in the backseat of my friend`s brand new Mustang in the Fall of 1989. There wasn`t any social networking back then, so I`m telling you all now...
Last person to like this wins a prize.
If the universe didn`t want me to eat four pop-tarts for breakfast I wouldn`t have four slots on my toaster...
The Olympians stories are amazing! The Ukrainian whose family was killed, the Korean who escaped slavery, the American who never had wifi.