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Do you think that the guy who invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "if you build it they will come"?
There is always something to be thankful for. If you can’t pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
Your day sucked, huh? I`m sure Facebook would love to hear about it.
“100 Calorie Packs” roughly translated means “Eat Two or Three of These”
So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesn´t even have to happen at all.
I bet strippers look forward to that feeling of getting home and wearing a bra after a long day at work.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends` food looked like.
You can tell a man`s age by how close their socks are to their knees.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
Top three reasons he doesn`t text you back: 1. He`s just not that into you 2. He`s imaginary 3. He`s a cat
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?