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I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
Netflix doesn’t care if u showered or not
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
A buddy gave me some of his pee in a jar so I could pass a drug screen. I failed, which is weird, cause I drank ALL of it.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
my girlfriend does that cute thing, where she doesnt exist.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart or at Taco Bell.
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.
I’m not crazy just the voices are!
I had lunch with a chess player yesterday. It took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.
I`ll sell my broken watch when the time is right.