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Never look back. That’s where all the monsters are.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
Facebook needs a "settle down" button.. You tap on a friend`s profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately..
Pro tip for picking up girls - keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
I just googled "Is there really cowbell in the actual song Don`t Fear the Reaper?" and my first response was, "Go outside and do something."
Facebook: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk post the world?
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
People who sit and talk while their pizza is gets cold gives me anxiety.
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me