Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My life is like a romantic comedy expect there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes
They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
Going to one of those places where you chop down your own Christmas tree, and then try to get away before they catch you.
One day you will meet someone so amazing in every way who will want absolutely nothing to do with you.
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: it before
It`s funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I`m going to say stop.
Sorry, just got your text. Are we still on for last night?
I am not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster ?
A new day : the possibilities, endless. the funds, insufficient.
"Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I`m just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys
Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he’ll probably be like, “Hey, remember when you used to just give me fish?”
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..