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People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
Big shout out to all the spiders not building their webs at face level.
You can tell how a persons life is going by how they press the crosswalk button.
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
I typed bitch into my GPS and guess what? I`m in your drive way. Vroom, vroom mother f*%ker.
Dear Mother Nature, I would like to cancel my monthly subscription please… Urs Sincerely, 100% OF ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD!
I`m great in bed....i can sleep for days.
The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
My favorite beer is the next one.
Nothing is more heartbreaking than unappreciated sarcasm!
Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
CANT TOUCH THIS!! Na na na na.
Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is to wake up the world.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.