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Getting out of bed was my worst mistake today.
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
You`re never too old to throw random sh*t in people`s shopping carts when they aren`t looking.
The Never Ending Story should`ve been a movie about a phone call from my Mother
A fun thing to do is comment "that ain`t the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos
The heat index is somewhere between OMG and WTF!
Pro Tip: If you`re on the bus, and wearing headphones, people can still hear you fart.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
Yes, I streaked once on a dare ... all the rest of the times though were just for fun
Relationship status: Private. The only way for it to be.
At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
Last night I got so drunk I blacked out for two hours, but then I realized Iād just put my hoodie on backwards
If zombies attack the world, everyone will run and hide. Except for us gamers, of course. We`ve been waiting for this all our lives!
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."