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Life is like chocolate...sometimes you gotta deal with nuts.
A Lion would never cheat on his wife.. but a Tiger wood.
Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl`s whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.
I wish "friends with benefits" meant your friends paid all of your bills.
Happy President`s day all. Heading out to buy a new mattress.
I don`t have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites.
You know what tastes better than one taco? Two tacos!
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
Day 8. You should be thankful that I`m medicated
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
Lower your expectations and I will totally amaze you.
is not rude...I just wasn`t taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can`t stand.
Since light travels faster than sound, isn`t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
I`m thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there`s this thing called Google now